Discover the Power of Being Single

NOTE: Let me start off by saying this. These next few devotionals are sensitive topics in todayās society. Nevertheless, it is imperative that it be discussed. With that being said, the information will be rooted or confirmed in scriptures, The Word of God. I may also use statistical facts, from reliable sources (psychology, science, and other credible resources) to explain certain aspects of these devotionals. For the next several weeks, we will be discussing marriage. To do this, we must start where it all started, with a man and a woman. Each devotional in this BLUEPRINT series will be working its way up to the key to a successful, happy marriage by breaking down its components, just as Jesus did when He was asked about marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:1-11). So, letās get started!
BUT FIRST... We want to hear from you!
True or False? Everyone should be single.
True.
False.
I don't know.

The last few weeks, we discussed the characteristics or qualities of a godly man and husband. Then, we delve into what a man must do to be a godly man and/or husband and reviewed some of the things that women can do to support men on their journey to growth. Last week, we finished discussing the characteristics of a godly woman as it pertains to Proverbs 31. This week, we will be diving into the most important part of every relationship,Being Single! Bear with me. This devotional blog consists of a lot of scripture and there are resources listed at the end of the content. I just want to be clear that this is coming from scripture and not my opinion. Letās get to it!

Being Single
Many cultures raise children to believe that marriage is the endgame or the goal to a fulfilling life. There's pressure to "settle down," get married, and start a family. And that pressure usually gets more intense the older you get. Being single catches a bad rap. It is not a disorder or disease, nor is it the same as loneliness, being unmarried, or being alone. We are taught to play well with others, inclusion, work together, and socialize. There's nothing wrong with this. We should know about these things. We were created to be in community with others. The 2 most important relationships are the one between you and God and the one between you and yourself. Obviously, the one between you and God defines, facilitates, and nurtures the relationship with yourself. Your relationship with God is supreme over all other relationships. Doesnāt it make sense to have a relationship with the one that created you? Wouldnāt it be better to be defined by the one who knitted you together for a specific purpose, formed your structure, gave you gifts and talents, and orchestrated the creativity in your mind for His glory? Wouldnāt your created know you better than you know yourself? So, fix your relationship with God, let God define who He created you to be, and conduct yourself accordingly to better appreciate and understand you before involving anyone else. Those 2 relationships will dictate every other relationship you will ever have.
In a relationship, particularly a marriage, you are getting to know someone, love someone, and help add to their life. How do you do that when you don't know yourself, love yourself, and know what you have to offer? With all this being said, let's look at the differences between singleness, being alone, unmarried, and loneliness. Singleness / Being Single āA state of being One in number
One ā A complete amount or whole sum
Complete ā having all the necessary or appropriate components.
Whole ā All of; entire
THEREFORE, Singleness or being single means a state of being One Complete and whole person that does not lack essential components to operate in his or her purpose or function
Loneliness / Lonely ā feeling of being dejected from want of companionship or sympathy
Unmarried ā Not married; a disposition of not being married
Alone ā All-in-one or All one; a physical disposition of being the only one of your kind.
Please note that singleness, unmarried, and alone are 3 different dispositions, while loneliness is a feeling. What does this mean? Based on these definitions, all the following statements are true.
Singleness and unmarried are different.
A person could be lonely and married at the same time.
A married couple can also be defined as single.
A healthy marriage consists of two single (whole, complete) people.
An unmarried person is not necessarily a single person.
A single person is not necessarily an unmarried person.
A human being is never truly alone because there are billions of others on earth.
A single person is not necessarily a lonely person.
Think about those definitions and the above statements. Can you determine the differences between the terms now?
Divorce

Divorce is the ultimate tragedy and traumatic experience. It's death without physically dying. It impedes on your singleness because you violently rip pieces of yourself from a bond to live on your own. A marriage is like a tapestry. Divorce is the ripping of that tapestry. Imagine a securely woven tapestry. Now imagine it being pulled apart and stretched from each end with such force that it rips in 2. A tapestry is usually quite durable. So, imagine the force and exertion needed to tear it apart.
Singleness should be the prerequisite for marriage. The ideal, godly marriage is the union of a single, godly man and a single, godly woman. Please review The previous BLUEPRINT devotional blogs for more information about the characteristics of a godly and and a godly woman. Marriage is the prerequisite for divorce because there can be no divorce without a marriage. Again, divorce is a violent deadly act. Divorces and unhealthy marriages are symptoms of its ingredients or the make of the people that make up the marriage.
God designed marriage to be until death or until you leave this earth. Still, over 50% of marriages in the church end in divorce. That statistic is roughly the same for nonbelievers, which is astonishing because marriage is supposed to be a symbol of Godās Love for us, Jesus and His bride, The Church. Now you know why the enemy attacks marriages with everything heās got. The last thing the enemy wants is a healthy marriage boldly portraying the Love and sacrifice of God for His people to the world. The enemy wants misrepresentation, ridicule, scorn, and shame tied to the symbolism of marriage, especially within the church. Read the scripture below.

In this scripture, the Pharisees are attempting to trap Jesus with a question about divorce. He gives one of the two reasons an individual can divorce. That reason is adultery. If the wife commits adultery, the husband has a reason to divorce her. If the husband commits adultery, the wife has a reason to divorce him. Notice that the spouse does not have to divorce. However, if the spouse that was cheated on cannot move forward in the marriage after the affair, he or she has reason to divorce. God hates divorce because it is a violent act (Malachi 2:16). However, God knows how it feels to have an unfaithful spouse. Tim Ross expounds on this in his sermon, āDivorce is an Option.ā Let me emphasize that God hates divorce, not the person. He Loves both individuals, the spouse that divorces the spouse and the spouse that is divorced by the spouse. The other reason is in 1 Corinthians 7:10ā16 when Paul writes the people of Corinth about keeping their marriage vows. That reason is abandonment. If the unbelieving spouse (not a follower of Christ) leaves or abandons the marriage, the believing spouse can let them leave. Otherwise, you are supposed to be bound in the marriage because of the vow to do so. God doesnāt lie nor does he abandon us because He says that He will never leave us or forsake us. So, here is something to think about. If marriage is an image of Christ and His bride, and the spouse is a believer in Jesus Christ but leaves the marriage, what about Jesus Christ do he/she believe? Read the scripture below.

Singleness: Benefits of Being Single and Unmarried

Notice in Matthew 19:11 Jesus says that not everyone can accept the sanctity of marriage and all it encompasses, which means that marriage is not the benchmark to success. Marriage is not for everyone. Paul said (in 1 Corinthians 7:7) that he wished that everyone could stay unmarried like him. When you remain unmarried, you have a certain freedom that you do not have when you are married. You have the opportunity to practice finding contentment solely in our relationship with God. When you are married, you are concerned with your spouse and kids, if you have them. Most life decisions, including something as sacred as fasting, consists of you and your spouse because you have been joined in matrimony. It is not just you anymore. There is no more "I" and "my". There is only "we" and "us" since the two became one flesh. So, you are your spouse and your spouse is you.
God did not make two people at a time. He created Adam first. Adam had time to appreciate his singleness. He was in God's presence, working in the garden, and naming animals. Adam was just fine being single and didn't need anyone to define who he was because of His relationship with God. God said, āIt is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for himā in verse 18. Adam didnāt ask Him for Eve. Remember, we discussed the term āhelperā is not the best translation. Sheās more of a companion or partner that is opposite him to share Godās glory with. Read THE BLUEPRINT: Women Part 2 for more details. Also, notice that God did not mention that Adam must unite with or marry Eve. Adam said, āThis is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called āwoman,ā for she was taken out of man.ā He claimed her, named her, and took her as his wife. It was for that reasonā¦as it continues after that verse. Read the scripture below.

Singleness is more important than marriage. God always starts with the foundation. He made the sky before birds, the water before fish, man before woman. That's the BLUEPRINT. Marriage or any other relationship is only as good as your singleness. Everything you are gets dragged into and woven into the tapestry of marriage. What do you want woven into your marriage? The more single you are, the better your relationships will be. How do you do this? Know God, connect with Him to discover your identity in Him, and conduct your life according to this. Pursue God and His will for your life, not a relationship. People and relationships will come. You will meet people on the path you are on and that are headed in the same direction.
Marriage is not a tool to fulfill your purpose because God has equipped us with what we need to operate in our purpose. We all have purpose embedded in us. We know that God completes everything He does, which means that there are no āincompleteā people. Miserable, depressed, insecure, mentally and emotionally ill people? Yes, but not āincompleteā. That list is a list of symptoms due to a disconnect in a relationship with God and the identity in which God assigned for that individual. This leads us to the most important section of this content, THE INVITATION.

If you have not accepted God as Your Lord and Savior, because you need more information about salvation to make your decision, please take the FREE mini course THE INVITATION. Just click the "I Need More Info" button below. It will give you a detailed explanation on why salvation is necessary, how to become saved, and the next step after you accept The Invitation.
If you havenāt accepted GODāS INVITATION OF SALVATION and want to do so now, earnestly pray this prayer:
God,
I know You love me. I believe You died and rose from the dead for my sins. Please forgive me for my sins. I give you my heart and soul. Please be my Savior and Lord. Transform me. I desire to align with Your Will. Thank you for Your faithfulness and Your Love.
It is in Jesusās name I pray.
Amen.
All of heaven rejoices when one person accepts THE INVITATION to salvation.
~ Luke 15:10

CONGRATULATIONS!
If you earnestly prayed this prayer, you are now saved! Again, for more information about why we need to be saved, what Godās Salvation means, and the next step after you are saved, take The Invitation course for FREE. This course will Always be FREE for Everyone because The Invitation of Salvation has already been paid! Again, if you are having doubts, take this FREE course as many times as you need and share it with others!
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Resources
Tim Ross "Upset The Vows: Part 7 - Divorce Is an Option" - Embassy City Church
The Purpose and Priority of Singleness | Dr. Myles Munroe
How To Live After Divorce Or Separation āMyles Munroeā
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